Rescue You
by untouchable.forever.and.always
Summary: Derrick gets his heart broken by Claire who starts dating Cam. Massie, being Derrick's best friend, mends his broken heart. They start to fall for each other but are terrified by the idea that they might get hurt again. Redo from the original.
1. Trailer

**When the love of your life tells you it's over**

"I don't get it. I thought you loved me," he said simply.

"I do love you but people change and I just can't do this."

**And you don't think that you can even breathe without that person**

"I've never felt this way. And I hate that she can do this to me," he gripped.

"Then don't let her," she said easily.

**But then you slowly put yourself back together**

"It gets easier every day."

"How's that?"

"Because you're here with me."

**You start to fall in love again with your best friend**

"Dude just tell her how you feel."

"I can't. It's not that easy."

"And why not?"

"Because she scares the crap out of me."

**She starts to fall for you too**

"I've loved him since I was eight when he pushed Kemp for pulling my hair."

"Then tell him."

"I can't." 

"Why?"

"Because I'm falling for him and I'm so freaking scared."

**Soon nothing else matters but you can't stand to get hurt again**

"Quit being a queer and tell her!"

"I can't!"

"Yeah actually I think you can."

**Sometimes fear gets in the way of true love**

"I do love you but I just…"

"You just what?"

"Can't be with you. I can't do this."

"Can't? Or won't?"

**And then there's nothing left**

"He's gone."

"What do you mean he's gone?"

"He left me and he's never coming back."

**Starring:**

**Massie Block**

"Dammit I love him and there isn't anything I can do about it!"

**Derrick Harrington**

"I thought I loved her but it turns out that I never did."

**Claire Lyons**

"Oh man I think I made a HUGE mistake."

**Cam Fisher**

"Can't I ever just win the girl and live happily ever after?"

**Alicia Rivera**

"What the hell is wrong with you people?!"

**The not as important people:**

**Josh Hotz**

"When did you guys become such girls?"

**Kristen Gregory**

"Love is way overrated."

**Kemp Hurley**

"I'm a lover not a fighter."

**Dylan Marvil**

"Damn. This drama is giving me a headache."

**Chris Plovert**

"Yeah, um, I'll just be over here."


	2. You Belong With Me

The early summer sun streamed through my window though I was in no mood to get up. Rolling over on my stomach I reached for my new personalized iPhone and checked the time. 11:32 A.M. Wow. I had never slept in this late before. I mean most teenagers sleep in till like 2 in the afternoon but for me that was like wasting half of your day. So I was usually up by at least 9:30.

I knew the reason for why I had been sleeping so much lately and why I had been so grumpy even though school was finally out and junior year was on its way.

Derrick Harrington was this very reason. We had been best friends since about third grade and the bad thing about having a boy as a best friend is that most of the time you fall for him. This makes things awkward and might destroy the friendship. I didn't care so around seventh grade I was totally in love with him but never said anything.

About a year ago Derrick got together with my ex-best friend Claire Lyons. Yeah that's right EX- best friend. She knew I really liked him but went for it anyway and you just don't do that to your friends. Since Claire took Derrick away I didn't have anyone until Alicia Rivera came along. Man was I happy she did. We've been best friends ever since.

I mean Derrick and I still talk but it's just not the same. He is head over heels for Claire and I just can't deal. I reached for my iHome remote and pressed play. Ironically 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift came through the speakers.

Groaning I rolled over and pulled my blankets over my head and screamed when someone yanked them from me. Catching my breath I saw that it was just Alicia once again taking the advantage that I had given her a house key and told her to come by anytime. Really big mistake.

"Get up Massie! We have work to do!" she called cheerfully and danced her way over to my iHome to change the song. "No more moping around. I gave you space but now it's time to move on!"

'I Look So Good (Without You)' by Jesse James started playing and I glared at Alicia while she innocently smiled at me. She knew this was my favorite song to listen to when I was having boy issues.

"Come on! Stop wasting your time on him! He's too blind to see what's right here waiting for him. So it's time to pick a new boy toy," Alicia said as she pulled me off my bed.

"Okay," I said with an evil grin. "How about Josh Hotz?"

Alicia's face paled and then became very very red. I knew that she was totally into Josh but she would never admit it.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I stretched and went into my bathroom to do my usual morning routine. Now that would never change. When I came back into the room I saw Alicia standing over my bed which had my favorite white Burberry string bikini laying on it.

"What are you doing?" I asked her calmly. With Alicia you just never knew.

"Cheering you up! Since your parents are never home we are hosting a Summer Pool Party Blow Out!" She had this really excited look on her face and I knew that if I told her no she would give me that stupid puppy dog face that I hated so much.

"Fine," I said giving in. "As long as you don't invite Derrick." Alicia was very aware of my situation with Claire and Derrick which was a pain sometimes.

"We have to or else he'll figure you're mad at him," Alicia replied as she started texting people the plan.

"But I am," I stated simply.

"Yes but he'll wonder why and we can't say because his girlfriend is backstabbing slut," Alicia said. She was always thinking clearly when it came to this stuff and the fact that she automatically took my side when I explained the situation to her was pretty awesome too.

"Okay," I said. "But there better be booze or else I'll never make it through this," I joked.

"Don't you know me better than that?" Alicia asked with a mischievous smile on her face.


	3. Party in the USA

The party was in full swing by late afternoon. Though looking back a lot of the party was blurry mainly because I was flat out wasted. Alicia thought it would be fun to add a little Smirnoff to the mix and believe me Smirnoff and me don't mix. The music seemed to get louder and louder by the hour or maybe it was my head pounding. Either way my judgment was totally shot.

Claire and Derrick still had yet to arrive and I was just emotionally preparing myself. Yeah, right. Alicia and Josh were off in the pool talking intently to each other while Kristen, Dylan, Cam and Chris were in my hot tub playing truth or dare. Luckily after the whole drama with Claire and I Kristen and Dylan had taken my side. Though they started to drift into their own little group. So we didn't talk much. The other people that were there were probably party crashers because I didn't recognize a single one of them.

'Party in the U.S.A.' by Miley Cyrus started to pound through the speakers and every one of the girls cheered in response. Alicia and I were in love with the song and had even made a dance to it. Everyone gathered around me and we started dancing and giggling and that's when I noticed two towheaded people enter my party.

Derrick Harrington and Claire Lyons.

I stopped dancing and the world seemed to stop spinning as jealousy coursed through my veins. I stumbled a bit as I watched Derrick laugh at something she said. All the while I wished desperately that I was the girl that he was holding or the girl that he laughed with at our own private joke.

The pain that raced through me was almost unbearable as he leaned down to kiss her right in front of the entire party and I almost started crying right then and there.

Alicia noticed that I stopped dancing and followed my gaze. She instantly tensed and made a move toward me but I flinched away not wanting to be touched. I stumbled again since my balance wasn't exactly great and fell directly into the arms of Kemp Hurley, school pervert.

"Whoa. Watch yourself there," he said as he steadied me and left his hands on my body a moment too long. I shivered at the very thought of his hands anywhere near me.

"I'm fine, thanks," I replied. I was about to walk away when I noticed that Derrick was staring intently at me and Kemp. I had an idea but I wouldn't enjoy a second of it. Kemp had turned his back on me so I twisted him around and did something I never thought I would do. I kissed him. Right in front of the whole party. I knew that everyone was watching including Derrick. I had hoped he would become jealous.

I pulled away from Kemp and looked around for Derrick and I saw him stalking toward the house with Claire running after him. I smiled to myself. Mission accomplished. Soon though I started to feel a tad bit guilty. Suddenly it was as if I sobered up because I was now thinking clearly.

Derrick didn't know what he could do to me. This boy…This one boy could make me so happy one moment and bring me to my knees in despair the next. He had complete control over me and he didn't even know it. I was desperately in love with him and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Kemp had left to get something to drink and there was suddenly another Smirnoff in my hand. With one look at Derrick and Claire who had their arms around each other I lost myself in the darkness of oblivion.

* * *

"Derrick," Claire said as she pulled me towards her.

"Are you okay?" she called over the music. I nodded my head but I knew the truth. I wasn't okay. Massie had just made an idiot of herself in front of everyone. And the emotion that was washing over me felt like jealousy. This wasn't good. Especially with the love of my life standing right in front of me.

Claire and I had been dating for about a year and I knew I was in love with her but lately I suspected that she didn't love me anymore. She had grown distant and almost never went out with me anymore. The only reason I got her to go out tonight was because I had begged and pleaded for about an hour.

Claire opened Massie's sliding doors and pulled me toward the couch where we sat in silence. I waited impatiently for her to say something.

"Derrick…"

"Claire…" I said and smiled. It was a little joke that we had.

Silence followed. I stared at her and she had a serious look on her face and I knew, knew it in my gut the words she was about to say.

"I think we should break up," she said not looking me. Even though I had a feeling it was coming I was still utterly shocked when the words came out of her mouth.

"Why?" I asked. The room seemed to be spinning and I couldn't focus on her face.

"I, uh, met someone else." The words hit me like a freight train and I could feel my heart start to break.

"I don't get it. I thought you loved me," I said simply.

"I do love you but people change and I just can't do this," she said simply. With that she got up and walked back out through the sliding doors. That was it? I thought. We were over just like that? In that moment the only person that I wanted was Massie. We had been so estranged lately but I longed for my old best friend. She always knew how to heal my wounds.

"Wait! Before you go…" I said as she turned to look at me for the first time. There were no tears in her eyes. Only pity.

"Who is it?" I asked. I had to know which guy had stolen the first girl I had fallen in love with.

She sighed and before she closed the door she whispered his name. "Cam Fisher."


	4. Blah Blah Blah

Waking up to a massive hangover is one thing but waking up to a massive hangover AND a mysterious form is lying next to you in your bed is another thing. I jumped up out of bed and my head started pounding. I moaned and the mysterious form moved. I suddenly saw a shock of brown curly hair and almost gagged. Kemp Hurley was in my bed. What the hell was he doing there?

I tried to remember last night's events but my mind went blank. I got snippets of Derrick and Claire being there, me being jealous, and kissing Kemp. Damn I make a total ass of myself when I'm drunk.

The doorbell rang and I quietly walked out my door and down the stairs. I suddenly realized that I was wearing nothing but pajama shorts and a cami. Oh well I guess I'll just have to live with it. The doorbell rang another time and I plugged my ears. It was starting to ring in my ears.

I pulled open the door and almost screeched. Standing there in jeans and a t-shirt was none other than Derrick Harrington himself. I instantly covered myself with the door. He looked half amused half sleepy.

"What do you want Derrick?" I asked trying to appear cold. If he was going to ignore me for an entire year and date one of my ex best friends then there was no way I was gonna come crawling back to him.

"Can I come in?" he asked. He started to walk towards the threshold but I edged the door closer to the door jamb

He stopped suddenly and a hurt expression came across his face. It was hurting me to shut him out but he had done it to me. I had been broken when he left. He wasn't getting in that easily.

"I get that you're mad at me Mass but can we at least talk?" He was flashing me those puppy dog eyes of his. He knew they were my weakness but I was holding strong.

"No we can't. I've waited a year for you to talk to me Derrick. I think you can wait a little longer," I replied.

"How much longer?" he asked.

I was about to answer when I heard Kemp come bounding down the stairs and towards me. There was a smile on his face like he was one of the luckiest guys in the world. Oh crap.

"Hey, babe," he says to me.

"Hey," I reply and flinch but Kemp doesn't notice.

"I've gotta head out but I'll call you later." He kissed my cheek and walked straight out the door. He slapped hands with Derrick, got in his car, and drove off.

Derrick stared after Kemp with what looked like envy in his eyes. He turned back to me with a sour look on his face.

"So you and Kemp?" he asks

"I don't think that's any of your business," I reply coldly. Hell I didn't even know what was going on.

"Why are you doing this, Mass?" His expression turns soft and he takes a step towards me but I take a step back.

"Because you left me Derrick. Abandoned me for someone who betrayed me. You freaking broke my heart. You were my best friend and I lost you. Do you know how much that hurts? I thought at least you would be on my side but no you just left me to drown. So if you think you're even going to step a foot back into my life. You're wrong."

With that I slammed the door in his face and walked away. And let me tell you it felt damn good.

* * *

"What the hell happened last night, Leesh?!" I screamed into the phone an hour later. My head was spinning but it wasn't from the hangover it was from the million things that were happening. Derrick coming to my door suddenly wanting to talk and Kemp being…a one night stand? Did we even do anything? God I hoped not. I didn't need that hanging over my head.

"Can you tone it down, Mass? My head is throbbing," Alicia groaned into the phone. I guess she had been as intoxicated as I was. Thing was with Alicia she remembered everything from the night before. It was like alcohol had the opposite effect on her. It made her see clearer but she still woke up with a massive hangover.

"I just wanna know how the hell Kemp freaking Hurley ended up in my bed!" I whisper shouted.

"WHAT?" Alicia screamed into the phone. Even hung-over Alicia knew the right way to react.

"Yeah I woke up this morning and there he was in my bed." I shuddered at the memory.

"Did you…ah...did you like…sleep with him?" Alicia asked

"I have no idea. My clothes were on so I don't think so. I hope not," I replied. I bit my lip and silently freaked out. If Kemp and I had…done it then he was my first and that isn't exactly something I would be thrilled about.

"Oh God Mass. I think you might have to ask him yourself," Alicia suggested.

I guess so, I thought to myself. Alicia and I hung up and I sat on my couch in my room wondering what I was going to do. I mean if we did it then did he use protection? I didn't have any birth control pills. At least not yet. Oh god this was too much.

My phone starting ringing again blasting 'Blah Blah Blah' by Kesha. I picked it up and answered it without looking at the number.

"Hello?"

"Massie?" came a reply.

"Mrs. Harrington?" I asked dumbfounded. I hadn't spoken to her since…well since the whole Claire and Derrick thing happened.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I knew she wouldn't be calling if she didn't have a reason. Something had to be wrong.

"Well Derrick's missing. It's only been a few hours but I'm starting to get a little worried," Mrs. Harrington replied.

Derrick was missing? What the hell? He had been here not two hours ago. Where could he have gone?

Then it suddenly hit me. "Don't worry Mrs. Harrington I know exactly where he is."


	5. Wait For You

The sun was starting to set over the horizon but I couldn't take in its beauty because my phone was ringing for the umpteenth time. It was probably Mrs. Harrington AGAIN wondering where her only son was. Woman needed a life. But as I looked at the screen I saw it was Kemp and almost gagged.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey babe!" he called into the phone. I cringed. No way was this guy calling me babe.

"Kemp what the hell happened last night?" I asked. May as well get to the point I thought to myself.

"You don't remember? Well I guess you were pretty wasted…" I rolled my eyes. So he knew I was wasted but didn't leave me alone. How nice of him to take advantage of me.

"What happened?!" I growled into the phone.

"Well we started making out then you just fell asleep so I did too. End of story," Kemp replied.

Oh thank god! My life was not about to become like an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. The last thing I needed was to become a whiney teenage mom who couldn't decide who the hell she loved.

I squealed with joy and hung up on Kemp. I would deal with him later right now I needed to find Derrick. I hopped into my car and started driving. It wouldn't be hard to find Derrick. I knew exactly where he would go.

About five minutes later I pulled into the elementary school parking lot which was deserted save for a black Porsche, Derrick's car.

I climbed out of my car and started jogging toward the playground where Derrick was swinging like he was back in the 5th grade. I knew that this was exactly where he would be because back when we were younger this was our absolute favorite place to go.

"Derrick! What are you doing here?" I called to him.

He stopped swinging for a second to watch me approach. He hung his head and couldn't look me in the eye.

"Thought you didn't want anything to do with me," he mumbled.

I sighed and sat down in the swing next to him. "I'm sorry Derrick. I was upset. I just couldn't deal with you trying to become my friend again. You really hurt me."

He looked at me with a sad face. He looked truly sorry and maybe he was but I couldn't take that chance. This guy didn't know what he could do to me. I waited around for him and once I was finally close to being over it he decides to come back into my life. Who was to say that he wouldn't leave again? These thoughts kept swirling through my mind. I couldn't deal with this right now.

"Your mom's looking for you. She's really worried," I said quietly. I stood up and started to walk away when I heard him whisper something.

"What?" I asked turning around.

"Claire broke up with me." And with that Derrick Harrington started to bawl like a baby. In that second I know that I should have walked away. Walked away and never look back. I thought for a second about the doubts I had about Derrick but they went out the window the second I saw the broken look on his face.

Sacrificing all that I had in me I walked over to Derrick, he stood up, and I pulled him into a hug. We stayed like this for what seemed like a long time. I knew I should have walked away. My head was practically screaming at me to do so but my heart was saying something else. That I loved this boy with everything that I had in me and maybe, just maybe he wouldn't break my heart again.

I should have listened to my head.


	6. How Does It Feel

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay here?"

Derrick and I were currently standing in the threshold of my guestroom which was now Derrick's room. Soon after I got Derrick to leave the playground he called his mom to let her know he was okay. As she had been taking him home he asked just one thing: if he could stay with her for awhile. Massie knew that she shouldn't. That it would be too much to see him 24/7 but she couldn't deny what her heart wanted and that was Derrick Harrington.

So now here he was all unpacked in his new room which actually was kinda like his room already. He used to spend so much time here that this had become his second bedroom. We had even painted it dark blue to match his other room.

"Yup it's totally cool. My parents aren't ever around anyway," I replied. And that was true. They were usually on business trips or just…trips without me. That actually suited me better since I got the huge mansion to myself and my friends.

Derrick hadn't said anything about Claire since they had left the playground and I wasn't about to push him but I had to wonder why they broke up. Was it because of me? Or was it a totally different reason? I may never find out.

"Derrick?" I asked.

He had been staring up at the ceiling and was now looking straight at me but it felt he was staring straight through me.

"You know you can tell me anything. I know we've had some…issues but I still care about you," I said. May as well get it out there; I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and maybe that was my problem.

"Thanks, Mass," he replied. With that I nodded and started down the hallway in was about 9 but I knew that there was going to be no sleep tonight.

As I got ready for bed I called Alicia. She needed to hear it from me just in case she heard it from someone else. It had only been a few hours since Derrick and I made up but news spread like wildfire here.

"Hello?"

"Hey Leesh!" 

"Hey Mass, what's up?" she asked.

I was quiet for a moment wondering how she would take it. Would she understand or would she be upset that I was letting this guy back into my life again?

"Mass?" Alicia's voice broke through my thoughts and I knew I had to tell her. She was my best friend. Hopefully she would understand.

"Derrick's here…and we kinda made up," Massie said slowly.

There was only silence on the other end.

"He really needs me now Alicia. Claire broke up with him and he's…he's really hurt," Massie continued.

"Well what happens if you need him again, huh? He only comes back when he needs you not when you need him. He's only going to break your heart, Mass," Alicia screamed into the phone.

I was tearing up now because of course Alicia had a point but I just couldn't leave Derrick all by himself. I knew what that felt like.

"Maybe he will Alicia but right now he needs me," I whispered.

"Fine but don't come crawling back to me when he leaves you again."

And with that Alicia hung up the phone. I started full on crying. Why did everything have to be so messy? Either I had Alicia or I had Derrick. I couldn't have both. I hated having to choose.

"Mass?"

I turned to see Derrick standing in front of my door. I hastily wiped away my tears so he wouldn't see that I was crying.

"Yeah, Derrick?" My voice cracked and I stopped pretending I wasn't crying. I started sobbing but Derrick made no move to comfort me.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

This came as a shock to me. Sure we had shared a bed back when we were younger but we had been best friends, no messy emotions attached. But as I thought it over I really didn't care if he was in my bed.

"Sure."

Derrick walked over to my bed and laid down. I walked into my bathroom to get changed and when I came out Derrick was staring at me.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Mass," he replied and it was all he said. He didn't say what he was sorry about but I took the apology anyway.

"Me too Derrick. Me too," I said but he had already fallen asleep.


	7. Brick By Boring Brick

"Derrick! Get up!" I screamed at him. I threw a pillow at his face but he just groaned and rolled over on my bed. I had been trying to get him up for an hour since it was about 1 in the afternoon.

"Five more minutes, mom," Derrick mumbled into the pillow.

"Derrick, honey, you've got to get up. Embrace the world. Crap like that," I replied easing my way next to him. I wouldn't admit to him but secretly I didn't have a clue how to take care of him. I didn't know how to fix him because I still hadn't even fixed myself. I was going to try though and pray that it ended well.

"Come on. Seriously I'm not gonna let you mope around all day," I said to him.

He opened his eyes and yawned. "I thought wallowing was healthy."

"It is but for only one day," I replied.

It fell silent between us but he still held my gaze. I would have given anything to touch him right then. To have even kissed him but I knew that it would be crossing the line. And I couldn't lose him again. I thought maybe that we were having our own little moment but he shattered it with one line.

"Is it bad that I miss her?" Derrick asked.

I could feel my heart drop in my chest. I shook my head. "She was you're first love Derrick. It's gonna be hard to forget her.

"I just hate that she can do this to me. I'm wallowing and she's already with another guy."

"Then don't let her do this to you," I replied.

He let out a short laugh. "It's not that simple, Mass."

"Actually it is."

"No it's not besides you wouldn't understand."

I felt him freeze and I knew that he knew he had gone too far. So I hadn't really had a serious boyfriend. The only reason was because I kept comparing them to Derrick. To me no one compared to Derrick. So I cut them lose. His words stung even though I knew he didn't mean it. But just because I had never had a serious boyfriend didn't mean I hadn't had my heart before. By the same person.

"Mass I'm sorry," Derrick whispered.

"It's okay," I replied.

I got up and walked out my bedroom door. I started down the stairs knowing I had to get out of there. The air was suddenly gone and I just needed fresh air but as I jumped into my car Derrick sprinted from the house and got into the car. I sighed knowing that I should tell him to leave but I just couldn't. So off we went.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Derrick and I were at the local ice cream place eating our chocolate ice creams but something just felt off. Even though I had forgiven Derrick I still felt the hurt in his words. He still didn't know the hell he put me through. What I was giving up to help and take care of him. I was giving this my all but his end of this seemed effortless. It wasn't like before when we were best friends. Though I don't think we could ever go back to those days. Thinking back to the old times I couldn't help but let Claire come across my mind.

It had hurt a lot to lose someone who was super close to you. I mean she was my best friend other than Derrick; the only friend who was a girl that I had. Why did it take one boy and a whole lot of emotions to tear a friendship apart? And she didn't even apologize for it. Claire didn't even tell me, I had to hear it from someone else. I guess that explained why she had been avoiding me.

Derrick waved a hand in my face and I was brought back to reality. "Mass? You okay? You look kinda…lost or something."

I shook my head. "Nah I'm fine just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" he asked curious.

"About…" I trailed off. Not because I didn't want to tell Derrick or that I thought it was going to hurt his feelings. No the reason I trailed off was because Claire Lyons and Cam Fisher were suddenly in my line of sight.

Derrick noticed me hesitate and start staring. He turned and I saw his whole body freeze. It had only been a few days since Claire had dumped him and she was already out with Cam. What a slut. Claire was laughing at something Cam said and looked up to see Derrick and me sitting there staring. Once she saw us she stopped laughing and stopped walking. Cam followed her gaze and he too stopped walking.

Derrick turned back around, stood up, and started for the car. He dumped his ice cream in the trash can and continued walking.

"You coming, Mass?" Derrick asked without looking behind him.

I stood up but only to be stopped by Claire who was now right beside me wearing the fakest smile I had ever seen. I tried to step around her but she was intent on keeping me there.

"What do you want, Claire?" I asked my voice tight.

"Just wanted to know how Derrick's doing," she answered innocently.

"You know god damn well how he's doing," I shouted. "You broke his heart, Claire. How do you think he is?"

Claire's bottom lip quivered but I wasn't falling for it. She was about as fake as Nicole Richie's new nose.

"Guess he's only with you because he can't have me. Face it, Mass, you're just second best and you always will be," Claire shot at me. She was about to turn around and go back to Cam but I stopped her.

"Is your name Karma, Claire?" I asked.

She looked at me like I was on crack. "Obviously not, why?"

"Because you're a real bitch. And what goes around comes around."

And with that I took my chocolate ice cream cone and shoved it into Claire's Lyons pretty face. She squealed with rage tried to shove me but I was way too quick for her.

"Bye-bye Claire!" I called to her as I walked away.

It felt so good to do that. It was definitely a long time coming. I knew that Claire wouldn't let it slid though. She would be back for revenge but until then I would just relish that surprised look on her face. She probably didn't think I had it in me.

Once I got back into the car Derrick didn't even look at me but as I was pulling out a small smile crept over his face and he said, "That was freaking amazing."


	8. Heart Heart Heartbreak

**Massie**

The next few days were ones that I didn't think I would ever forget. Slowly but surely Derrick was becoming himself again and was getting over Claire. Also I had avoided Kemp like the plague and he eventually got the message that I didn't want him around me. Also Derrick started talking to Josh again. He had been his best friend, besides Cam, before the whole Claire episode.

The days to follow were complete bliss. Derrick and I began to fall for each other again. But I should have realized that it wouldn't, or couldn't, be that simple. Not when it involved Derrick Harrington.

As for Claire I don't think he will ever stop loving her but just learn to live without her. I would like to think that I was a good part of the reason he was happy. After that day at the ice cream place he seemed to realize that Claire wasn't for him and maybe he was better off. At least that's how I hoped he looked at it. Thinking back I could remember a conversation we had about her. It was no longer an avoided subject.

"Do you still miss her?" I had asked.

"Well sure but it doesn't hurt as bad as it did yesterday or the day before that," Derrick replied.

We were lying on my bed staring up at the glow in the dark stickers that were attached to my ceiling. They had been my obsession back in the 4th grade.

"How's that possible?" I asked.

"It gets easier every day," he said simply.

"How's that?"

"Because you're here with me."

I could still remember the feeling of my heart soaring at his words. It had to be the most sentimental thing he had ever said to me. I was not over Derrick. Being with him didn't help that but I didn't want to be over him. I wanted to be with him. He was my best friend and the only guy I had truly ever fallen for. Dammit I was in love with him and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I just wish I knew what was about to come.

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**Derrick**

Now a year ago if you asked me if I was in love with Massie Block I would have laughed at you and no way she's my best friend. But if you were to ask me that today my answer would be yes. I know that falling in love takes time and maybe I was in love with Massie last year. I just didn't know it. But those few days with her really opened my eyes. I loved Massie with everything I had left in me.

The sad thing was I knew that it wouldn't be enough.

I wouldn't admit it out loud but I was hurting. I was broken. The supposed love of my life had shattered my heart into a million pieces. I came to realize that maybe I didn't love Claire Lyons. At least not the way I loved Massie. I knew that I wasn't ready to love again but that didn't stop me from doing it. I was healing though. Slowly but I was. Just not quick enough to save what I had with Massie. I didn't know how to approach the subject or even bring it up.

Because I, Derrick Harrington, knew for a fact that I would once again break my best friend's heart.

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**Claire**

So they say to live with no regrets. But how can we live that way when we know it in our gut that we made the wrong decision? I knew with all my heart that I wasn't over Derrick. I never would be. I loved him something fierce. I would never be able to move on from him. He was my first love.

Then there was Cam. I have been called many things and heartless bitch is the one that really hits home because well I am. I love and live but I don't care who I hurt in the process. I knew that it wasn't fair to Cam to bring him into this mess but I did it anyway because he was something new and exciting.

I regret letting Derrick Harrington go. I regret doing this to Cam. I even regret the day that I lost Massie Block as a friend. She was the only one I had. The only one that kept me grounded.

I regret making the biggest mistake of my life.

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**Cam**

I never really believed in gut feelings. Either there is proof something happened or it's not really. But I knew it in my gut that Claire Lyons still had feelings for Derrick. And it hurt too. I knew she wouldn't admit it to me. No Claire didn't really like confrontations like that because she knew that she would lose. I tried to hate her for doing this to me but it was no use. I had been falling for Claire since about the 7th grade. I knew that in the end she would break my heart but I went for it anyway.

Hearts break every day. Hearts mend every day. People fall in and out of love. Pain was part of the process. Claire Lyons was the reason for my heartbreak. Claire Lyons was the reason for my pain. Yet I can still honestly say that I, Cam Fisher, am still in love with Claire Lyons.

Question: Why can't I just get the girl and life happily ever after?

Answer: Because life is never that simple.


	9. Jump Then Fall

The Westchester Mall was quite crowded for a Sunday afternoon but Derrick and I fought through the crowd anyway. We were just looking for something to do. We had been cooped up in the house for awhile and just needed some air. Of course the mall hadn't been what I had in mind but it didn't matter. As long as I had Derrick with me I didn't care at all. We were holding hands but it wasn't in a romantic way. It was in the mall is so crowded that we have to hold hands not to get separated way. Again I didn't mind. I loved holding his hand.

We had stopped at Starbucks to get some caffeine since we had stayed up the night before just talking. We sat down at a table near the window. It was another beautiful day outside though it was suppose to rain later. I stifled a yawn and Derrick laughed at me.

"What," I asked.

He shook his head.

"No really why did you laugh?" I asked.

"Because you look cute when you yawn," he answered. Silence followed. I think he was waiting for me to say that it was okay for him to talk that way. That he didn't cross any lines by saying that. To me it was fine. I loved that he said those kinds of things. Yesterday he told me that I looked pretty when I slept.

"Well good to know that I can yawn without looking stupid," I said and yawned again.

"Wow are you really that tired?" He asked slightly concerned.

"Well of course since you wouldn't shut up until like 4 in the morning," I teased.

"Hey you could have told me to pipe down anytime but no you just kept listening," Derrick countered. "Lord knows I didn't get any sleep since that snoring of yours kept me awake."

I scoffed. "I do not snore."

Derrick laughed. "Oh yes you do."

"Nu uh"

"Uh huh."

"Nu uh."

"Uh huh."

We went on like this until an elderly couple to our left shushed us. We covered our mouths with our hands and tried very hard not to laugh but annoyed the elderly couple left. As soon as they did Derrick and I busted out laughing. Everyone in the café was looking at us but we didn't care.

I was wiping away a stray tear off my face when I saw two people enter the café. There, not ten feet away, was Alicia with Josh on her arm. Now when did that happen? My heart squeezed at the thought of them getting together without Alicia telling me. But I guess since our argument about Derrick we hadn't been on the best of terms. Hell we hadn't even spoken since then.

Derrick noticed I stopped laughing and turned to see who I was staring at. When he saw he turned back around, stood up, and offered his hand. "Come on let's get out of here."

Without thinking I grabbed his hand and we ran out of there without them noticing. By the time we got back the car I was crying again but not because something outrageously funny happened but because I suddenly realized I had lost one of my best friends.

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As soon as we got home, without even saying a word, Derrick led me straight to my backyard towards the woods. When I was younger it use to be my favorite place to play but as I got older it became to use to me so I kind of abandoned the woods. I even used to have a little play house out there. I wondered if it was still standing.

But as we walked through the trees and over a small creek we came across a clearing where the sun was shining straight through the trees and engulfing the grass that lay there. I sat down on the grass not even caring if I got dirty. Derrick sat next to me, watching me. Just in case I started crying again. But I didn't. I just couldn't believe that Alicia really wasn't my friend anymore. I mean sure we were in a fight but it just made it seem clear that she was no longer speaking to me.

"Are you okay?" Derrick asked me quietly.

"No Derrick, I'm not," I replied. He sat a few inches from me but I just wished that he would come closer and hold me. Maybe then I would feel better.

"I'm sorry about Alicia. I'm also sorry that I'm partly responsible for it," Derrick said.

I smiled up at him. "You don't have to be sorry. It was my choice and if Alicia couldn't accept it then maybe we aren't meant to be friends."

As I said the words I knew they weren't true. Alicia was meant to be my friend just not when I was with Derrick.

"Well you have me Mass. I'm not going anywhere. I promise," Derrick said.

I looked up at him but couldn't tell if he was lying or not. I prayed to God that he was telling the truth because I couldn't take it if he left me again.

"I love you, Mass," he said.

I smiled. "I love you too Derrick."

Okay so maybe it was the exact words I was looking for but they were enough. I wasn't sure if he meant he loved me as a friend or if he was in love with me. I guess I wouldn't really ever know. We sat there for awhile in silence but I didn't mind it. It was awkward silence it was comfortable.

"Maybe we should go. It looks like it's about to rain."

As we stood up to leave a sudden downpour began to rain on us. I squealed as my clothes began to soak through. Derrick grabbed my hand we started running. As we got closer I noticed the small creek that we had passed was now beginning to rise. Soon it would be too high to cross without getting hurt. The rocks that lay across the embankment were already slippery and wet. Derrick let go of my hand and jumped across the water. He landed with a soft thud on the other side.

"Come on, Mass!" He called to me but I remained frozen.

A buried memory suddenly came back to me. One of the reasons why I no longer played in the woods anymore. When I was about ten years old it had began to rain just like this and when I tried to cross the creek to get home I had slipped and cracked my head. I had gotten myself about ten stitches across my forehead and a concussion that day. I fingered the now almost invisible scar.

Sensing my distress Derrick held open his arms.

"Jump Massie! I'll catch you!" he called to me. I shook my head. No way was I jumping. The creek was about seven feet wide and eight feet down. My clothes were now sopping wet and so were Derrick's but he stayed put.

"But I might fall," I replied.

"I won't let you."

The rain just kept coming down and it might have been five minutes or five hours when finally looked straight into Derrick's eyes. They looked genuine. Like if I were to fall into the creek he would be right there saving me. I bent my knees slightly, closed my eyes, and jumped into Derrick's waiting arms.


	10. Best I Ever Had

Even though I had my blinds drawn and my room completely dark a few streams of light made their way into the room. It was hitting me in the face so I turned over and groaned. My head was pounding and I could barely breathe through my nose. I was going to kill Derrick for making me go out into the woods because now I was sick with the flu or the cold or whatever illness this was. All I knew was that I felt like crap.

Oh sure I hadn't busted my head open or anything. Derrick had made good on his word and had prevented me from getting hurt but now here I was stuck in bed during summer being sick. I was gonna get him for this. I coughed and hacked until my throat burned and my chest ached. I moaned and rolled over on my side not caring if that little line of light was still hitting me in the face.

There was a knock on my door but I was too weak to answer so I groaned in response. Derrick came into the room and turned on the light.

"Ahhh!" I croaked out. "Too bright!"

Derrick chuckled. "Sorry but you need to be able to see to eat."

I looked out from under my covers to see that Derrick had brought me chicken noodle soup, in a cup not a bowl, with Sunny D and saltine crackers. My favorite meal when I was sick. Awl he remembered. I smiled at him and was no longer angry. I couldn't believe that he remembered.

He set the tray of food over me and helped me as I tried to sit up. I picked up the cup and began slurping the soup. Derrick sat next to me watching me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked tucking in some blankets around me.

"Like crap," I answered but it came out as a hoarse whisper. Great now I'm losing my voice.

"You sound like it," he joked. I shot him a glare and made a motion that I would throw the soup at him if he didn't behave but he still chuckled.

"You know you're funny when you're sick," he told me.

I grimaced at him and was seriously thinking of pouring that soup over his head. But I figured that would be a little bit dramatic and I really didn't want to waste the soup.

"Hope you don't mind the grungy look," I told him and gestured toward my sweats and ratty old t-shirt. I currently had no makeup on, no product in my hair which was in a pony tail, and absolutely no perfume on. I was completely au natural. Though I didn't really care if Derrick saw me this way. In fact I felt more comfortable this way.

Derrick shook his head. "I don't mind. I kinda like you better this way."

I smiled at him. "Really?"

Derrick smiled back and he started singing Drake. "Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. That's when you're the prettiest I hope that you don't take it wrong."

I started laughing which led to coughing then to hacking until once again my throat was on fire and my chest ached. Derrick's smile had disappeared and now looked at me with some concern.

"Don't worry I'm fine. Just let me sleep in off," I said but my words broke at the end of my sentence. I really was losing my voice.

"It's my fault," he said. "I shouldn't have taken you out to the woods."

I tried to reply but my voice wouldn't come so I gestured at him to get me a pen and paper.

_You didn't know we would get stuck in the rain and I would end up sick_, I wrote.

"I know but still," he replied looking guilty.

Well shouldn't I be the guilty one? I mean I was upset over seeing Alicia but that didn't mean that we had to go out to the woods. It was partly my fault too. Sure I had wanted to hurt Derrick earlier for making me sick but I didn't mean it. It was the illness talking.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked.

_I don't want you to get sick,_ I wrote.

He shrugged. "I don't care. I deserve it anyway."

I rolled my eyes and nodded. Derrick took away my half eaten food and turned the lights back off. I rolled around till I got comfortable on my side. Derrick climbed in on his side but remained upright. I layed there for over an hour trying to fall asleep but couldn't. I felt Derrick get up and check on me so I pretended to be asleep. He left the room and started back down the hall. I frowned. I thought he was going to stay with me.

I was about to get up when I heard his footsteps coming back toward the room. I closed my eyes again and slowed my breathing. Derrick came over to my side lifted up my arms and placed something underneath it. He returned to his side and layed down and soon I heard his soft snoring. I opened my eyes to see what he had put there and saw that it was my teddy bear from when I was about seven. I had named him Aladdin because I had been obsessed with the movie at the time. I smiled. I couldn't believe that Derrick had remembered these details about me.

I also wondered where the heck he had found Aladdin. I hadn't seen him in years. As I snuggled with Aladdin against my face and listened to Derrick's snores I finally fell into a peaceful sleep dreaming about Aladdin the movie where I was Jasmine and Derrick was Aladdin himself. It was the best dream I ever had.


	11. We'll Be A Dream

I sat on the couch in Dylan's living room catching up. We hadn't talked much for awhile and I felt the need to reconnect. If Alicia wasn't gonna talk to me didn't mean that I had to wait out for her. Sure I would love it if we could make amends but until then I was up for reconnecting with my old friends. Like Dylan. I had actually forgotten how funny she was.

It was the first time in days that I wasn't with Derrick. He spent every second with me when I was sick. But since yesterday I felt fine. Maybe it was a 48 hour thing. I got my voice back, I could breathe, and my chest didn't ache every time I coughed. Though I missed Derrick I think time apart would do us some good. I wouldn't want him to get sick of me.

Dylan walked back into her spacious living room and handed me a Diet Dr. Pepper. She settled with plain Sunkist. She sat down next to me on the couch and belched. I laughed. Some things never changed.

"So how are you?" I asked her.

She set her soda down. "I'm doing pretty well. If you haven't heard Chris and I are going out now." Dylan blushed the same color of her hair.

"Oh Dyl! That's so awesome." And it was. Chris and Dylan had secretly liked each other for years. It was about time that they got together.

"Yeah. So what's up with you?" she asked.

I hesitated a moment. Should I just give her the simple 'oh everything is fine' line or tell her the truth? I decided to go for the truth. There was no use in reconnecting if I wasn't going to be straight up with her.

"I'm doing great. I just got over a nasty bug and Derrick's staying at my house," I blurted out.

Dylan had taken a huge drink of Sunkist so as soon as I said that she sprayed it all over the coffee table. I would have been mortified but I just found it hilarious.

"What? No freaking way! What about Claire?" 

I sighed and told her everything from the night of the break up to what was going on now. I even told her that I loved him. That I was _in_ love with him. But by the time I was done I was crying slightly. It was hard to talk about what Derrick had done to me but it was all in the past now. Derrick was a new person and he was going to be there for me. He promised.

"Oh Mass. I had no idea…"Dylan trailed off. Somewhere when I was telling the story she had hugged me and comforted me. It was like old times.

"Well it's not like I was helping any. I kind of shut you out of my life and for that I'm sorry. There was…there was just so much going on and I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that you would betray me like Claire," I managed to tell her.

Dylan nodded and pulled me in for a long hug. It felt good to know that I could trust Dylan. She had been my best friend once upon a time and maybe we could get there once again.

"I think you should tell him that you love him, Mass," Dylan said.

"I know. I've loved him since I was eight when he pushed Kemp for pulling my hair," I replied.

Dylan rolled her eyes. "Then tell him."

I sighed. "I can't."

"Why not?" Dylan asked.

"Because I'm falling for him all over again and I'm so freaking scared," I replied.

"I know that Mass but you need to be straight up with him or else you won't get anywhere with him," she said.

I nodded. "I know but it's just…he's hurt me so bad, Dyl. I don't wanna go back to that ever again."

Dylan patted my hand. "I understand but do you really wanna go into every day thinking what if?"

She had a point. I could tell Derrick but what if…what if he rejected me? He wasn't really the kind of person to reject me to my face but it would still hurt.

What was I to do?

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I sat at Josh's kitchen island sipping Red Bull. Massie had said she was going to Dylan's today so Derrick thought it was the perfect opportunity to catch up with Josh. He hadn't really talked to him since he and Claire got together. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"So dude, how's it going?" I asked as Josh walked back into the kitchen from using the bathroom.

"Not bad. Alicia and I finally got together," he replied.

"Yeah I noticed you guys together the other day," I said. That had been the day Massie and I got stuck in the rain. The day she got sick. But really it was a blessing in disguise since I had a good reason to be with her every second of the day. And to be quite honest I thought she has never looked more pretty then when she was just herself clad in a t-shirt and sweats.

"Really? So I here you've been hanging with Massie lately," Josh said reaching into the fridge to grab a water.

"Yeah I'm staying at her place right now," I replied.

"So what's the story there?" He asked. I looked up and scanned his face. I couldn't tell if he honestly wanted to know or if he just wanted the dirt on Massie and I. Josh was a bigger gossip that Alicia. But I thought what the hell, right? Just tell him.

"I think I'm falling for her," I blurted.

The stunned look on Josh's face was priceless.

"Then you should tell her how you feel," Josh said.

I fidgeted in my seat. "I can't. It's not that easy."

"And why not?"

"Because she scares the crap out of me."

I waited for Josh to laugh at me. To tell me that I was being one of those sappy guys who talked about his feelings but he remained silent.

I knew that Massie loved me or at least I suspected but it wasn't that simple. Sure I was moving towards getting over Claire but the hurt was still there. My heart was still broken. I knew that Massie wouldn't mean to break it but what if…what if she somehow did without intentionally doing it?

Was it even possible to love with a broken heart?


	12. Papercut

I did not regret what I had just done. I knew it was the right thing to do. I was sorry that it had to end the way it did but it's what had to be done. These were the thoughts that were racing through Claire's head as she drove to Massie's house. She knew that Derrick would be there. It hurt Claire to think that he was with Massie and spending all his time with her. Nighttime had fallen already with the sun setting about half an hour ago.

Claire had just broken Cam's heart. She broke up with him giving him the old 'oh no it's not you it's me' line. It didn't work. Cam knew that she was still in love with Derrick but he let her go. He said that he didn't need this. Claire felt horrible but not horrible enough to not break his heart. Maybe one day they could work it out but for now Claire had to get the love of her life back.

Once Claire pulled up to her ex best friend's house her heart was beating about a million miles per hour. What if Massie answered the door? What if Derrick wasn't there? Sighing Claire pushed open her car door and made her way to the porch. She rang the doorbell twice and waited. Her palms were sweaty but she wasn't paying any attention.

Derrick pulled open the front door and froze when he saw that it was Claire. He was about to shut the door but Claire pushed her way in.

"What do you want Claire?" Derrick asked. Claire noticed that he was dressed up. He was wearing khakis and a blue polo that brought out his eyes. Oh his deep blue eyes…

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Not that it's any of your business but I'm going out to dinner with Massie. Now again I ask you, what do you want?" Derrick was getting frustrated and he just wanted her to leave. He knew a few more minutes with her and he would be back with her but he didn't want that. He would always have a thing for her.

"I want you, Derrick Harrington. I never wanted anyone more than you."

Derrick looked shocked but he remained his calm cool self. "What about Cam?"

"Broke up," she answered. She noticed that they were standing really close. Two more steps and she would be back into his arms. Derrick seemed to notice too. He leaned closer to her face and she knew it in her gut that he was going to kiss her. They were only centimeters apart when Derrick suddenly drew back. He took five steps away from her and sighed.

"Get out, Claire," he whispered.

"Why? It's obvious you still want to be with me," Claire replied coming closer.

"Maybe I did before but you freaking broke my heart, Claire. That's not something you can take back. And besides I think I may love someone else…" Derrick trailed off.

Claire was growing angry because she knew he was talking about Massie. There was no way Claire would let her win Derrick. He was hers and hers alone.

"I'm sorry Derrick I really am…but I love you. I'm in love with you and I want to be with you," Claire said. She reached out for his hand and he let her.

Derrick was trying to remind himself of Massie. No one but Massie but Claire was right there in front of him…and he loved her. He always would.

Damn this is going to be hard, he thought to himself.

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I was driving back from the restaurant frustrated with myself and Derrick. Mainly Derrick. Why the hell had he stood me up at dinner? I waited for over an hour and yet he didn't arrive. I had invited him to dinner because I was going to finally take the plunge. I was going to tell him that I loved him but he hadn't shown up.

He had better have good reason like someone was dying or he had a sudden heart attack. Though both were unlikely. I pulled into my driveway and noticed that most of the lights were on so he had to be home. I stomped my way to the door and flung it open.

"Derrick Harr-" I began to shout but then I noticed what was happening right in my foyer. The two broke apart the second they heard me enter the house but it was too late. I had already seen what was going on.

Derrick and Claire had just kissed. Right there in front of me. In my own house. I was about to slap Claire across the face when I realized that she wasn't worth it. Sure she was wearing a smug look on her face right now but I just wanted her to leave.

"Mass I can explain-" Derrick started but I held my hand up signaling him to stop talking

"Get. Out. Of. My. House." I said very calmly.

Claire scampered out of the house probably afraid that I was going to punch her but Derrick remained there a hurt look on his face. I almost laughed. Shouldn't I be the one hurting here, not him?

"Mass please listen." Derrick walked toward me and was about to hug me when I pushed him away.

"No you listen Derrick Harrington," I started and Derrick fell silent.

I took and deep breath and said it. "I'm freaking in love with you and I don't want you to go back to Claire. She's only going to break your heart."

Silence followed. I knew what I was doing was absolutely stupid. I was once again putting my heart on the line. I should have kicked Derrick out and never speak to him again but I had to let him know how I felt. I needed for once in my life to take a chance.

Derrick sighed. "Mass I love you too…"

My heart soared. "But I just can't do this."

Then it plummeted. "Can't or won't?" I asked him staring straight into his eyes. This was the guy I was in love with and he was tearing me to shreds.

"Mass you gotta understand," Derrick started but I cut him off.

"Get out of my house, Derrick," I said calmly.

"No Massie you need to listen," Derrick said.

"I said GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I roared at him.

Derrick finally registered my anger and walked out of the house but before he started for his car he said, "Mass, I'm sorry." Then headed into the darkness.

I slammed my front door and slid down to the floor tears starting to form and roll down my face.

"Yeah me too," I whispered before sobbing hysterically on the dirty floor.


	13. Leavin'

Massie

I awoke to the sunlight streaming through my bedroom window and I had to wonder how I got there. I had no memory of dragging myself up the stairs and into my room. I looked down to see I had changed too. I sighed thinking of the irony of the situation. It was only a few weeks ago that it was the beginning of summer and Alicia had come barreling into my room with every intention of making me forget about Derrick Harrington. Look how well that turned out.

So much could change just in a short amount of time. A few weeks ago I was on my way to trying to get over Derrick and here I was still head over heels for him. Yet he still had broken my heart. Again.

All that I wanted more than anything in that moment besides for everything to go back to normal was Alicia. She would know what to do. As if conjured up from my thoughts there was Alicia standing by my bedside. It took me a second to realize that it really was Alicia. She must have kept that key I had given her.

"Alicia!" I cheered. I pulled off my blankets and held onto her for dear life like if I let go she would fade away.

She chuckled. "Hey Mass." She hugged me back and I looked at her to make sure she wasn't a dream. I had missed her so much.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to speak to me," I said to her as she let go.

"Yeah well Josh told me what happened since Derrick showed up at his doorstep last night and told him the whole thing," Alicia replied sitting down on my bed.

I sighed. So Derrick had found a place to sleep. I hadn't been worried about that last night. I just wanted him out of my sight. Out of my house.

"But you said for me not to come crawling back to you if this happened," I pointed out.

Alicia smiled a sad smile. "Mass you're my best friend. I don't want you to get hurt. I just said that because I couldn't watch him do this to you again. I knew what you were getting into and I knew that you couldn't be talked out of it. But I'm here now and won't leave again."

I smiled at her. "I missed you so much Alicia."

I pulled back into a hug and didn't let go. I couldn't let go. She was finally here to stay.

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Derrick

I stood on the stoop of Massie's house wondering if I was doing the right thing. I had a feeling that she didn't want to talk to me after what had happened last night but I had to set things straight. I had to make her understand.

I pushed the doorbell and prayed that she would answer the door but when the front door finally did open it was not Massie who stood there. It was Alicia.

A scowl crossed her face and she instantly put her guard up.

"What do you want asswipe?" Alicia asked coldly.

"Alicia please I just want to talk to Massie. I want to explain," I replied.

"Why? Just so you can make up excuses and hurt her all over again? I don't think so." She crossed her arms over her chest and I knew that there was no getting past her. So I did leaned toward the right then the left and watched as Alicia mimicked my moves. Finally I faked her out and got inside. 

"Massie! Mass!" I called up the stairs.

"Get the hell out of here! I swear to god Derrick I will call the cops!" Alicia screamed behind me.

Massie appeared from the kitchen door looking like a train wreck. Her hair was sticking straight up, her makeup streaked all over her face and the ratty t-shirt she was wearing looked like it could be torn to shreds with a pull of a thread.

"It's okay Alicia," she croaked out. "Let him talk."

Alicia huffed but did nothing. "Fine I'll be in your room when you're done." With that Alicia scampered up the stairs and slammed Massie's door.

"So? Start talking," Massie said as she headed for the living room. I followed behind her.

"Massie I…" I suddenly had no words. Everything that I was going to say suddenly slipped away from me and I was left with nothing.

Massie tapped her foot impatiently waiting for me to talk.

I sighed. "It's complicated…I love you but I…"

"Love Claire too?" Massie imputed.

I shook my head. "No that's not it. I love you but this just couldn't work out. I've hurt you enough already and I just don't want to be responsible for that anymore. I don't want you to hurt."

Massie laughed bitterly. "You don't want me to hurt?"

She crossed her arms and pushed her hair back. I knew that I was in for it.

"You've been hurting me Derrick!" she roared at me. I flinched.

"You've been hurting me for an entire year. You choose Claire over me, your best friend! That hurt so freaking bad. I was so messed up after that. So when finally I'm ready to move on you come back but your broken and you expect me to fix you. But Derrick honey…" she trailed off for a moment.

She sighed and she looked on the verge of tears. I couldn't believe I was the cause of this.

"You're too screwed up to fix. I can't take your highs and lows. I thought that maybe, just maybe this could be our chance but you've just proved to me once again that all you're gonna do is hurt me."

The more I listened to her talk the more I wanted to punch myself for causing her so much misery. I never meant to do that. I never meant for things to go this way. She was right. I was incredibly messed up.

"So Derrick do us all a favor and just leave." Massie's voice broke.

Her words cut through me and I took a step back. "You don't mean that."

She nodded. "Yes I do. Please just leave me alone. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't come back here. Ever again."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew her words were honest but I didn't want to believe it. I refused to believe it.

I turned around and walked out of the room through the door and to my car. I didn't start the car at first. I sat there and took this all in. Maybe I should take Massie advice.

Maybe I should leave town and never come back.


	14. Not Enough

Derrick

I stood in my room looking around at the things that I've decided to leave behind; basically everything that reminded me of Massie. The soccer ball she got me when I made the team freshman year. The picture frame holding the picture we took together at homecoming. Neither of were looking at the camera. We had our arms wrapped around each other as we dance. If you didn't know any better you would think that we were a couple. Even some of the little stuff like her favorite purple pen she left behind one day she was over here.

I couldn't believe that I was doing this. That I was so willing to leave Westchester behind in favor of Los Angeles. I was taking Massie's advice and skipping town. I was hurting. She was hurting. She needed time to heal again. She didn't need me here anymore. It was better for everyone if I just left.

There was a knock on my door and Josh came in without an answer. He took one look at my bare room and my open suitcase and asked, "Are you sure about this man?"

I stood there for a moment and really thought about it. I was trying this new thing about being open not only with myself but other people. By keeping things in I only hurt the people I care about. Damn. I was starting to sound like my mother. Who by the way was a therapist.

To be quite honest, no, I was not sure about this. About anything really. The only thing I was absolutely sure about was that Massie Block was the girl I was in love with and the girl that I lost.

"No," I replied quietly. "I'm not."

Josh sighed, walked into the room and sat on the bed. "A piece of advice, dude," he started.

I rolled my eyes. Josh giving me advice. This ought to be good.

"You love Massie, right?"

"Yeah," I replied._ Duh_, I added silently.

"She loves you, right?" he continued playing with a stray thread at the end of the bed.

I sighed. "Yes, go on."

"Then you guys should be together."

I almost laughed. Actually I did laugh. He said it like it was so easy. Like I could just waltz on over to her house, after she specifically told me not to, and have her forgive me. Massie didn't work that way. Once something was set in her mind there was no going back.

"It's not that easy dude," I said pulling my suitcase off the bed.

"I know that you guys have some…complications," Josh said standing to block my path. "But running is not the solution here. You need to face it or else…you're just gonna keep running. And there's only so far you can go."

Wow Josh being deep. I thought I would never see the day. Though he had a point. How could I be so willing to give up this easily. I was aware that she needed some time to herself but…I just couldn't leave the things the way they were.

I dropped my suitcase on the floor and grabbed Josh's keys from his hands. I was not about to let the love of my life slip away. Again.

Massie

I didn't feel anything. Not anymore. I had gotten to the point where everything had gotten so overbearing that I was completely numb. I didn't feel the sting within my chest when I thought of Derrick. I didn't feel the ache within my heart when I thought about how much I still loved him. And I didn't feel my heart ripping in two when I replayed that scene in the living room with Derrick over and over. I didn't feel anything.

I had finally convinced Alicia to go home and see Josh and live her life. That I would be fine but I wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe Derrick had done the ultimate damage. Maybe my heart had been broken one too many times. I was spending my day on the couch watching reruns of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I always wanted Zuko and Katara to end up together.

I was so far gone that I didn't even hear the doorbell ring at first. But finally it registered in my mind so I got up and answered it. There standing on my doorstep even though I told him to stay the hell away from me was none other than Derrick Harrington.

The numbness instantly melted away and brought on the gut wrenching pain. I almost shut the door in his face. But I was so emotionally exhausted that I thought, 'what more can this guy do to me?'

Derrick entered hesitantly, which I don't' blame him. Especially after what happened last time. I sat back down on the couch and sighed. "What do you want Derrick?"

"You," he replied instantly. "I want you."

My broken heart welled with emotions but I refused to feel it. I couldn't fold now. For once I had to be strong.

"You know that…that we…can't be together. It's just not possible," I said quietly.

"Bullshit," he stated.

I looked up at him and saw that he had a determined look in his eyes. He wasn't leaving here without a fight.

"Please! Yesterday you were all 'No sorry we can't be together' and now you've just decided to change your ways!" I screamed at him. So much for standing strong. "How do I know that you won't change your mind again?"

"Listen to me Mass. I know I have no right to ask this but you are going to have to trust me."

I laughed.

"Why the hell should I trust you?"

"Because I love you. I was so terrified to truly admit that to myself but I did. I'm in love with you Massie Block. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want to be with me. Tell me and I'll leave."

I sucked in a breath. I knew it in my gut that he did love me but was it enough to push away all of the hurt he had caused me? I didn't know if I could get hurt again. I didn't think I could bare another strike from him.

"I'm hurting, Derrick," I replied quietly. "And you're to blame."

"I know," he sighed. "But I'll never ever be the blame again."

"You can't fix me," I stated.

"I know," he said again. "Only you can do that."

His words hit me hard. He was right in a way. It was only me who could make the choice of whether I wanted to get out of bed in the morning. My choice to whether or not I wanted to start healing. It was all me. Derrick had hurt me. For that he was to blame but it was my own fault for wallowing so long. I guess I just wasn't ready. I'm still not ready.

"I do love you Derrick and I do want to be with you," I started.

He grinned from ear to ear.

"But I'm not ready to let you back in yet."

His features instantly turned to sorrow. It was as if a light inside of him had gone out.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shook his head. "It's okay, I understand. I'll wait. You waited for a year. I'll wait for you to be ready."

Once again, I believed him.


	15. Epilogue: Good To You

Massie 

Time is described in seconds, minutes, hours, days, even years. It goes by way too fast. It doesn't seem that way when I'm sitting in my Pre-Calculus class and the minutes seem to drag on forever but it does. Somehow a year has gone by. A whole year. Back to summer. The summer before my senior year. My last year and a kid. As a teenager.

You could say I've been through a lot in my life. Just in the past few years. My heart has been damaged, rearranged, and broken completely but I've come so far. Nothing will be like it was before but I guess that's kind of the point.

In the past year I've slowly grown use to being friends with Derrick again. Alicia and I are stronger than ever and Josh and I have also grown close. After losing almost everyone I've gained them all back and more. It just takes time. I wouldn't say I'm quite ready to jump back into a relationship but you know I just might make an exception for Derrick. I mean it's like we're practically married anyway. If we're not at my house then we're at his. We don't do anything. Just sit there and talk.

I hate to say it but he's a big reason of why I've come so far. From breaking my heart over and over to putting it back together again. I have a lot to thank him for and a lot to blame him for. But that's all in the past. Done for. It's a brand new day with new experiences and that's all that matters.

333333333333

Derrick 

As I got off the phone with Massie I felt like something was different. Not in a bad way but just different. I drive to her house on a daily basis but something wasn't right this time. Something was going to happen but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

I arrived within minutes but sat in my car, fearing what was about to happen. With Massie anything could happen. We had been really good lately. Better than ever. But I've learned not to expect anything to stay the same for long.

Finally I got the courage to climb out of my car and walk up to her doorway. Before I could even ring the doorbell she pulled open the door and gestured me in. A solemn look was on her face.

"We need to talk," was all she said.

After she closed the door we walked into her living room and sat down. My leg jiggled up and down. That always happens when I'm nervous. She bit at her lip and took a deep breath. I cringed and waited for her to say what she needed to say.

"I'm ready," she said.

I sat there dumbfounded. The words passed through me and pounded in my head. They still didn't make any sense to me.

She smiled at me and laughed. "To be with you, silly! I'm ready!"

I was so stunned that she still thought I didn't get it. "Remember last year when I said I wasn't ready? And you were so patient and waited well I'm finally ready."

I broke out into a huge grin and picked her up off the couch. She giggled and held on really tight. "I told you I would wait for you," I said kissing her.

She kissed me back and we stayed that way for awhile until my neck started to get stiff. I sat down and pulled her across my lap. She leaned into my chest and I knew I could stay like that forever. She whispered something that I could barely make out but I heard it and it made me smile.

"I'm glad you never left."


End file.
